He is mighty impressed with Aunt Bee's cooking and the cleanliness of the her house and kitchen. Go take a nap, go to Thelma Lou’s for TV, just *do it*! < Season 4 > • < Episode 5 > Briscoe Darling and his boys come to Mayberry and after being thrown out of the diner, accept an invitation to Andy's house for dinner. Floyd Lawson: [while looking at himself in the mirror] Wretch, wretch! Andy Taylor: Oh, sure. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Somewhere wandering loose around Mayberry is a loaded goat. [shouts] Barney Fife: Gomer, get down there with them spiders and start workin’! Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Dud Wash: Where’s my ‘darlin’ person’? ‘Cause he’s too close to the ground. Barney Fife: What was that! Otis was drunk! You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. [Reassuring Opie after releasing a group of dogs to the countryside as a thunderstorm approaches] Briscoe Darling woos Aunt Bee and carries her off to his mountain cabin. Barney Fife: [about Briscoe’s decision not to kill Ernest T] It’s a wise man who knows not to push the limits of the law. Helen: Just who do you think you are, anyway, Mayberry’s answer to Cary Grant? Andy Taylor: Like what, Mrs. Wily? Andy Taylor: Well, sure that applies to septic tank pumpers… sure. Barney Fife: Well, I guess to sum it up, you could say, there’s three reasons why there’s so little crime in Mayberry. When he is finished courting, and realizing he is getting nowhere Briscoe kidnaps Bee and takes her back to the Darling cabin. c’mon Charlene! Git your guns, we gonna have us a revolution!”. Jackson County Indiana Courthouse Nativity scene ... 7 Reasons Why You Should Go for a Part-time MBA. Rule number one: obey all rules. Andy Taylor: You didn’t let anyone see you riding with your mouth open? Songs performed by the Darlings. Andy Taylor: [Picking up the phone] Sarah? A barber does a lot of work around the back of the neck. garykmcd. Judy, Judy, Judy! Briscoe Darling: He might. Barney Fife: They don’t do things that way anymore. Andy Taylor: Well, OK. Andy Taylor: Goob, did anybody ever tell you you’ve got a big mouth? Andy Taylor: Mmm-hmm. No more fishin’, no more ball playin’, no more peanut butter sandwiches. Another time is in. This episode marks the only appearance of The Darlings without Charlene. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Barney Fife: I try. Barney Fife: If only someone would just kill somebody? Barney Fife: Adios, amigo. Otis Campbell: Well, he started it! Aunt Bee Taylor: You know, your education was worth every penny of it. Andy Taylor: Well, I ate four bowls. [Gomer has made a citizens arrest on Barney] Briscoe Darling woos Aunt Bee and carries her off to his mountain cabin. Barney Fife: baby makes three. Briscoe Darling: [serenading Aunt Bee] Low and lonely, sad and blue / Thinking only, of little you / Always tryin’, to keep from cryin’ / I’m low and lonely over you. Summary Everything we eat goes to muscle. Only Briscoe and his four boys appear. Goober never misses a Cary Grant movie. Barney Fife: You sure? Nip it in the bud. Well, speakin’ of Cary Grant, I do him. Gomer Pyle: Me and Goober are goin’ down to see that Cary Grant movie. [demonstrates by pulling his own mouth] Otis Campbell: Every man needs a hobby. After being treated to Aunt Bee's hospitality and home cooking, Briscoe Darling decides he is going to marry her. This is one of the few times a character appears without a shirt on when Mr. Barney Fife: A boob that’s what I am, a boob! We got other things to do. Andy Taylor: I declare, Floyd, I believe you’re getting the hang of it. Myrt ‘Hubcaps’ Lesh: That’s the clunker we sold to that boob in Mayberry. Andy Taylor: Barney, you can’t give Otis a sobriety test now; he’s had all night to sleep it off. [Door slams shut behind Barney] Why don’t we go up to the old people’s home and wax the steps? Judy. Briscoe Darling: Sheriff, tell your deputy to be quiet before he gets us all stoned to death! Judy. You go read any book you ant on the subject of child discipline and you’ll find every one of them is in favor of bud-nipping. Andy Taylor: Boys, stop it! Andy Taylor: Goober, Cary Grant wasn’t in ‘Picnic’. This is gone far enough. I’d rather they respect me. Andy Taylor: You date one woman all the time and pretty soon people start taking you for granted. Repeat! Andy Taylor: Didn’t anybody try to stop him? Andy Taylor: Daylight’s precious when your a youngen’. This is Sheriff Taylor! on How our communication and relationships with others have changed during the pandemic, on Five things to ask your eye specialist. All goes to muscle. Goober Pyle: Well, I don’t know… Calvin Coolidge said that. Barney Fife: [while relaxing on the front porch after Sunday dinner] You know what I think I’m gonna’ do? This is an imaginative premise, and it is carried out with great charm and humor; one hardly misses the absence of Barney. We ought to book you on one of those excursion lines. ‘Cause I don’t want to. I'm low and lonely over you G7 C F C Do you miss me say you do G7 Tell me darling tell me true C F Do you yearn dear for my return dear C G7 C I'm low and lonely over you F C Low and lonely I’m weary too G7 You're the only true love I knew C F Don't be long dear you know it's wrong dear Andy Taylor: Listen here, Ernest T. Bass! Briscoe Darling: [to Andy] That ain’t fair; her hittin’ first and explainin’ the rules after. Andy Taylor: I think Ernest T. Bass is paying us another visit. Briscoe Darling and his boys come to Mayberry and after being thrown out of the diner, accept an invitation to Andy's house for dinner. Andy Taylor: Floyd. Bee's attempt to civilize the Darlings causes Briscoe t… Barney Fife: Fortunately, none of mine goes to fat. Barney Fife: You’re real funny, you know that. Andy Taylor: Where can we find this Ernest T. Bass? Now if they were giraffes out there in the field, now then we’d have trouble. Bee's attempt to civilize the Darlings causes Briscoe to call off the engagement. Cast Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their neighbor! Ernest T. Bass: Tell ’em to go back to bed! Andy goes to their mountain cabin and finds that she is okay and decides the only way to get Briscoe to change his mind will be to show him exactly what it would be like to have Aunt Bee running his household. How do you do it? Go on home and leave these people alone! Goober Pyle: I’ll do it! Ernest T. Bass: I’m a little mean, but I make up for it by bein’ real healthy. I can take some manners, I can take some cleaning up, and I can take a bossy mouth, but I ain't about to be beat to death with no spoon! on How to Choose the Best Essay Writing Service? Briscoe to Bee: I'll put on my square wheels so's things won't get to rollin' too fast. A Townsman: [Talking about the sidecar] Sheriff, if you fill it up with water you can take a bath on the way. Mrs. Wiley: He burst into the house uninvited and started behaving in the most peculiar manner. [Ernest T. Bass has crashed Mrs. Wily’s party] [Andy and Helen walk off with Goober following] Goober Pyle: I love picnics. When he is finished courting, and realizing he is getting nowhere Briscoe kidnaps Bee and takes her back to the Darling cabin. (as The Dillards). Opie: But she'll feed me grits and prunes! Dud Wash: Aww, he’s a pestilence and a pestilence will find *you*… you just wait. Barney Fife: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the man with the hex. Charlene Darling: Dud! October 28, 1963 Briscoe Darling: [serenading Aunt Bee] Low and lonely, sad and blue / Thinking only, of little you / Always tryin’, to keep from cryin’ / I’m low and lonely over you. Goober Pyle: I can’t do William Holden, but I can do Cary Grant. Barney Fife: Oh, yeah? Andy Taylor: Otis, three hours ago when Deputy Fife arrested you were you drunk? Barney Fife: A dog can’t get struck by lightning. There’s Andy, and there’s me, and Misunderstanding something she says, he suddenly declares his love for her and asks her to be his bride. Speaking of picnics, you remember that movie ‘Picnic’? The Darling family (sans Dud) returned in the 1986 reunion movie, Return to Mayberry. Floyd Lawson: You know, everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it. [Andy has told Rafe Hollister to try out for the musical] Andy Taylor: My sideburns. Andy, couldn’t you just swear it was Cary Grant standin’ right before you in this room? They don’t say, “Let’s invite Andy,” or “Let’s invite Elly.” No, they say. Barney Fife: Now Andy, if you let them take thirty, they’ll take thirty-five. Otis Campbell: Yeah; but I didn’t have my specs on and drunk or sober, I can’t see much without my specs. And you ain’t heard the last of Ernest T. Bass! Andy Taylor: Yeah. [patting gun] Andy Taylor: You’re a fine son, Barn. Andy Taylor: I won’t. Briscoe Darling sings for the first and only time as a soloist in this episode. Opie Taylor: Pa, just what can you do with a grown woman? Briscoe: Ernest T. Bass, you're a low-down pesky buzzard...Doggone ya! Briscoe Darling: Doggone ya! No, Sarah, I wouldn’t rather talk to Juanita at the diner; just get Thelma Lou. Aunt Bee Taylor: No elbows on the table. [pause] Andy Taylor: Does, huh? Floyd Lawson: Your sideburns – what’s the matter with your sideburns? While TAGS fans have varied feelings about the Darlings, I always welcome them. Andy: In Norway the young'uns eat hardtack and raw fish. And looka there – they’re the right length and everything. What’d you do that for? Why, suppose they ask Rafe to do something he don’t know? Judy. Helen: What? You’re a low down skunk! Cary Grant sure was good it that movie. Do you miss me, say you do Tell me darling, please tell me true Do you yearn dear, for my return dear I'm low and lonely over you. What? Andy Taylor: Hey, Barn, what if they was to ask you if you could sing a cappella, what would *you* do? Andy Taylor: Uh huh. Barney Fife: I did not start it, he started it! There she is! Briscoe Darling: [to Andy] He arguin’ with me? Aunt Bee Taylor: Did you like the white beans you had for supper? Barney Fife: [to a group of boys] Boys, when that steel door slams shut, that’s the end of the happy days. Opie Taylor: Aw Pa, just a little while longer… please? Andy Taylor: Eating speaks louder than words. Darling, can’t you and your boys handle him?
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